It's summer. Which means that lots of people are outside. For some reason, my neighbor's son thinks it's nice to invite his little 16 year old girlfriend over to swim in their pool, which is pretty nice I guess. The not nice part is that after he makes out with her 20 minutes once in the pool, he precedes to attempt dunking her, at which she screams at the top of her lungs, a shrill, piercing scream. Little girl, this message is for you:
Girls who scream like that deserve one thing; to be punched in the throat. So, if you come over to my neighborhood, and you see me relaxing nicely on my patio or in my own pool, minding my own business, don't scream, because the next time it happens, I'm probably going to stroll on over, let myself into the yard, and then punch you in the throat. It will probably be just a reflex, so you really can't get upset about it. You should probably stop screaming. I'm actually liable to do it twice.
Sincerely,
Me, who wakes up at 5:00am and works with snot nosed, screaming, crying, complaining children all freaking day long.
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