Inspiration for the week...

This week was probably one of the craziest, not nice, poop week in the world, but I'm working on seeing the glass as half full instead of half empty, so here are the wonderful things that helped me push through to the weekend.

1. Great music



2. Great coffee



3. Great friends



4. Pinterest




Happy weekend, loves! Here's to cooler weather, comfy clothes, and weekend playlists that make you happy!

I'm a weddingaholic

To celebrate my 300 day mark, I'd like to provide you with a list of wedding planning pet peeves

1. Random people who assume they are going to be invited to the wedding. Friends of friends, the guy from Starbucks, etc. I especially hate it when people I never spoke to suddenly want to be my bff because they might get invited for a free evening out and the chance to meet a husband (in the Christian world anyway)
2. Wedding vendors that do not respond to your emails with, "first of all, congratulations!" Seriously, I know this is a little bridezilla of me, but I'm potentially going to book you for my wedding at your enormously overly inflated cost, at least congratulate me. It's good business people.
3. When wedding vendors (regardless of whether or not it is 'wedding season') take 2 months to send me quotes. Chances are, I will not book with you if it took you 2 months to give me a quote.
4. When wedding vendors completely fail to email me back at all. For example, I asked a restaurant/catering company in Elmhurst if they would give me a quote. I was quite interested in this company being that they serve everything family style and I had heard their food was very good. The woman was very prompt in responding to my email but failed to include how much gratuity would be, would not factor in the cost of labor (she simply listed how much each waiter/chef would be per hour on the side and left the rest for me) and informed me that their restaurant does not supply linens or china and that I would have to use their specific rental company that they are contracted with to rent these items and factor that into my overall quote. She said she could forward me a list of prices on linens and china. I responded asking her to please do this, to which I never received an email back. This. is. bad. business.!!!
5. When wedding vendors act as if it is a favor that they are doing me to give me a tour of their facility or to take 5 minutes out their "very busy" schedule to talk to me. Do you not understand that I am considering BOOKING with your company for my WEDDING and paying you MONEY. I recognize that I am probably not your highest paying customer, however, you do not know that when I originally call for information or for a tour. For all you know, you could be flushing 30 or 40 grand down the toilet by treating me like I am inconveniencing you. How rude.

So ladies, if you are newly engaged, take heart. This is one of the only times in your life where you can act like a biotch and get away with it. The other time is when you are pushing a child the size of a watermelon out of your uterus.

What the...

How much for CHICKEN!? Almost 9 GRAND? Without hor devours??? Or alcohol!! Good Lord, I might as well pay the extra for the booze because I'm going to need it after that announcement...

We're eloping.

I need more hipster clothes...

I am a non-art major at a primarily art focused school

I feel compelled to keep up with the trendy individualism all the crazy art people portray

I need to buy more hipster clothes.

H&M trip anyone?

Additionally...

Why are people really not embarrassed that I, and everyone else who knew them in highschool/college, can tell that they used their college graduation money to get a boob job? Seriously.

Just FYI

It's summer. Which means that lots of people are outside. For some reason, my neighbor's son thinks it's nice to invite his little 16 year old girlfriend over to swim in their pool, which is pretty nice I guess. The not nice part is that after he makes out with her 20 minutes once in the pool, he precedes to attempt dunking her, at which she screams at the top of her lungs, a shrill, piercing scream. Little girl, this message is for you:

Girls who scream like that deserve one thing; to be punched in the throat. So, if you come over to my neighborhood, and you see me relaxing nicely on my patio or in my own pool, minding my own business, don't scream, because the next time it happens, I'm probably going to stroll on over, let myself into the yard, and then punch you in the throat. It will probably be just a reflex, so you really can't get upset about it. You should probably stop screaming. I'm actually liable to do it twice.

Sincerely,
Me, who wakes up at 5:00am and works with snot nosed, screaming, crying, complaining children all freaking day long.

You know you've been in childcare for way too long when...

1. You think it's kinda funny when kids fall off of stuff/into stuff/just fall in general.
2. You take pride in the fact that you walked into the classroom, and 20 children shut up in utter fear.
3. You tell kids that if they chant "all hail plankton" or "you're fired!" one more time, you're going to throw them over the fence.
4. When 5 year old boys ask you if you can crack their heads open on rocks and watch their brains ooze out like an egg, you don't exactly consider it, but let's just leave it at that...
5. Things that seemed stupid to you 4 years ago are awesome now. Like chasing a butterfly for 20 minutes straight.
6. Cleaning up poop, pee, barf, blood, sweat, etc doesn't really phase you anymore.
7. You get giddy over getting the opportunity to leave the classroom for an hour to do paperwork.
8. Outside of work, it takes everything in you not to reprimand other people's children, even random children in the mall or at the park or in line at Starbucks.
9. People think that because you work in childcare, it's ok to just dump their kid on you when they don't feel like being a parent.
10. You have no problem telling that said parent to actually be a parent or else they have to pay you.
11. You know exactly how, when, and where you're going to raise your own children, but having kids still freaks that crap out of you.
12. You can tell which kids are going to require a little more supervision (to put it nicely) the second they walk in the door.
13. Phrases like "Ms. Randomladiesname, you look so beautiful today used to flatter you, but now you just become suspicious.
14. You can pull random new and creative games/stories/crafts out of your butt like no tomorrow, but ask you to a simple math equation, and you're screwed.
15. At the end of the day, when you're tired and probably would jump off of a bridge at the sound of one more child's voice, you know you'll still come back tomorrow because you love the little boogers way too much.